A habit can be supposedly changed in ten days. Therefore can I change parts of myself I loathe in a single month? That’d be four ticks and habits I don’t like about myself. Of course this is absolute shit on paper. With apples and oranges (which, since recently learning what it actually means has become a repetitive assurance in my head) means that even if I tried this there is no confirmation that it would work successfully. Yes, I might cease to bite the cuticles of my nails but can I really thwart the thought that the day -barely half done- is worth putting behind me? Everything here feels hopeless and here I am amidst the rubble of it. Like an earthquake victim trapped under the collapsed levels of a hospital, even if I see the light the concrete debris will keep me stationary. The point of this blog entry (not that there was a real point. I never write these with a point) was to see if I could become more optimistic and action-based in ten days. I don’t exactly want to resort to the cringe-inducing google search of ‘how do I be happier and successful’ because I just booted the thoughts of not existing and I don’t need their fast return with such sentences as ‘Just be yourself and someone will see you’re talented and therefore your success will rely on someone else’s opinion of you’. I’m going to have some Arctic Fire.

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